Open Thread Are You Able To Be G d Friends With Someone You’re Intimately Attracted To?

Open Thread Are You Able To Be G d Friends With Someone You’re Intimately Attracted To?

My better half, Abie, is certain he, can’t maintain a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex—a woman who is not me that you, or at least.

As their argument goes there’s always tension when you’re with some body with that you could have sex, and that tension erodes the ability for genuine connectivity. What he means as he says connectivity, i believe, is intimacy. And because he is so regimented—so loyal to his discipline, his personal compass of restraint—he keeps a distance if I may be so bold as to put words in his mouth or ideas in his head, I wonder if.

His language of intimacy depends a lot on touch (i am aware this because he literally thanks me everytime I run my fingers through their locks, or rub his shoulders, or take their hand), so when you can easily experience such deep connection based simply in the act of creating physical contact (whether in a platonic setting or otherwise not) with another individual, and you’re hellbent on Doing What’s Right (which, bless him, he is), it develops a wall surface this is certainly difficult to reduce.

I’m unsure how I feel. I have merely a fistful of genuine—as in, close—friendships with heterosexual guys. I understand a complete lot of those through work. The ones we don’t work with are typically the husbands of my friends that are female and this classification of “friendship” is situated purely from the proven fact that we now have text threads for which neither of your partners exists.

If Abie’s language of closeness is touch, mine is big talk—the opposite of small talk, e.g. dealing with the core of intellectual angst, philosophical force, psychological cleverness. No body is more valuable as compared to other. Nevertheless the plain benefit of big talk this is certainly different from physical touch is the fact that it is a whole lot more theoretical. Fortsätt läsa >